Elaine Dance

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 21:58:49 GMT

The husband and i have talked and decided we love "corporate speak" so much, we've decided to 'integrate' it in our daily lives...

A fictional conversation that may take place:

A: I think I’ll make some curry for dinner tonight, just FYI. I’m going to ping my mom for that recipe.

W: Thanks for keeping me in the loop. Curry sounds like a home run. I was thinking pasta and marinara, but you’re better at thinking outside the box when it comes to dinner. Do I need make some acquisitions from the grocery store? Other errands?

A: Way to take initiative! You’re a team player that values the principles of our marriage. I will repurpose the veggies from last night, but may need you to pick up some rice. Can I incent you to pick up the dry cleaning as well? I’ll make a list of action items, lets take this offline for now, and touch base later.

W. OK, lets not drop the ball on this one.

A. Another challenge we need to address, is who will watch the cats while we’re on vacay? D has stepped up to the plate.

W: Great, we should leverage D to her full potential. She’s demonstrated clear capability with the cats in the past. Sounds like some low hanging fruit. Are you going to follow up with her?

A: Yes, I’ll own that task.

W. Lets switch gears, and address another topic; your snoring keeps me awake all night, and I can’t maximize my sleep time.

A. I’m sorry about my snoring, lets team up and brainstorm solutions over dinner.

"On Paradise Drive" by David Brooks

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 21:09:04 GMT

This is one of the more compelling analyses on American Culture I have read, and its funny to the point of bringing tears to my eyes in fits of laughter. Some of it hits close to home, but luckily I have the ability to laugh at my sometimes ridiculous lifestyle.

Brooks puts into words concepts I have considered, but not necessarily been able to articulate. One point he hits on, and quite accurately, I might add, is why Americans are such achievers and workaholics and how we tend to cram all of our hours and minutes with activity. Some argue that "our energy is merely part of some manic drive to avoid the deep and profound issues of life, to skate along the surface of existence and wallow in material luxury and incessant gain." - that's dead on.

short update.

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 06:11:33 GMT

We're back from Spain. It went by too quickly. We drank much vino tinto with out sulfites, cervezas y cafes con leche, ate tapas in outdoor cafes in the plazas, got taken by surprise by a couple of rain storms, got by on my broken Spanish, looked at too many Picassos, got ignored by too many waiters. And not only did we not suffer from jet lag (on the way back) we even painted the living room with the spare day we had over the long week-end. We're rockstars. A virtual tour of photos will follow (if Wells ever gets it together)

Fri, 07 May 2004 17:34:54 GMT

So, an american is possibly linked to the Madrid bombings? Great! I hope that we don't get spit on when we go to Madrid in 2 weeks. I'm so embarassed to be an American right now, but hopefully I've learned enough Spanish to not make that so blatantly obvious. Wells promised not to wear his stetson, and let me do all the ordering.

On a lighter note, I have gotten a new position at work! I have sort of been pushed in the lake and expected to swim, but its good opportunity, and I'm excited! Although yesterday I made an ass of myself in a telephone conference with a few bigwigs, because I was talking out of my ass, making assuptions, with out being given any background on the project. They all told me I was wrong, and I just shut up and listened at that point, but I learned a bit about the company I didn't know.

Because it is fun to trash talk my neighbors.

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 21:34:09 GMT

Just when you thought they couldn't get trashier.

Saturday, We had beautiful weather and lots o weeds in the garden. We decided to get to work on them to the delightful soothing sound of R Kelly blasting next door. The beer party started early, and all the neighbors friends with out trashy decks to hang out on came over to hang out on this trashy deck. Overheard snippets of conversation:

"Yeah dude, we used to REALLY party before these people moved in, *gestures towards our house* but they bitch all the fucking time now, so we have to keep it down"

"Yeah, dude, those squirrels are funny when you shoot em with a pellet guns. I shot a bird once back here *laughs* and it was totally struggling to get over the fence, it was some funny shit, dude"

"I've been arrested so many times, if I get arrested once more, I'll have to do time. My parole officer gives me a drug test I have to pass every month, so I only smoke dope in the beggining of the month"

"Oh, yeah, man, I was stabbed once too, there was blood everywhere and shit"

Really boring post, in fact, don't bother reading it.

Fri, 05 Mar 2004 19:11:58 GMT

I'm flustered again today. Getting on another plane this afternoon. Spending 40 minutes searching for my keys and being late this morning didn't help (finally found them in Wells's pants from yesterday's pocket). The cats haven't been taken care of for the week-end, and I haven't packed - so I must go back to the house before the airport. Lots of work that will have to be left for Monday. I'm so ready for a homebody for a while and get organized. I need to take some yoga and relax. It will be nice when new people start next week at work too, to take some of the load off!

Las Vegas

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 17:51:33 GMT

Vegas did a number on me...I'm still hung over from all the alcohol and 2nd hand cigarette smoke. My body is retaliating with a cold/sinus infection thingie.

Their new slogan should be...

Vegas...Arrive with wide eyes and high hopes...leave smelly and depressed..

I have some tips for those who haven't been, but are wishing to vist sin city in the future.

1. Be aware of mass hotel check-ins, where you wait like cattle for the slaughter.

2. You might get lost in your hotel.

3. See the Blue Man Group! Avoid rows 1-6. That is all I'll say. You might want to skip it entirely if you have just ingested hallucinogenic drugs or are epileptic, however.

4. Desperation is in the air. If the sight of haggard old 'rode hard and put up wet' cocktail waitresses in slutty outfits, or overweight beer swilling people parked for hours on end in front of the slots depresses you, Vegas might not be your kind of city.

5. The urge to play another hand, and 'maybe you'll win back that $30 you just lost' far outweighs the urge to just walk away and accept your losses.

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 22:57:42 GMT

I think I'll refer to dollars only as 'clams' while in Vegas.

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 18:17:12 GMT

I always get so flustered before any kind of travel, even it is just for the week-end.
I have TONS of work to finish today since I'll be out tomorrow. I need to study a little for my Spanish test tonight. I have to deposit a check. Go to class. Would like to get nails done and brows waxed, but that may be a luxury at this point. Would be nice to work out after class...probably also a luxury. My house is a wreck and I have no clean clothes to pack, so I have to pick up and do laundry. Charge up my camera. Make sure burglar alarm is working properly as it broke in the middle of the night last night!
Wait, why the hell am I making a livejournal post - I dont have time for that! Ack!

If I don't show up for work tomorrow....

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 04:46:33 GMT

Ok, now I am sure there is a murderer loose in my neighborhood! I was just coming home from the gym and Spanish class. I passed the usual seemingly harmless sketchballs that hang out outside the China Dragon. The house is empty. I get out of my car, and an obscured head pops over the fence from the neighbors yard (yes...THE neighbors). And over the fence came a voice from someone who I knew didn't live there. "Excuse me, Miss?, can I please use your phone? Someone is following me!" I didn't really see her face, but the voice belonged to a young African American woman. Me, "Uh...." At this point I was freaked out. "Sorry,I don't have a phone!" I fumble for my keys to get the hell in the house and set the alarm. "Well, can you at least call a number for me?" I said "sure, I'll call the police, what is your name?" "Tunitia....that's ok, you don't have to call"
It is garbage night. I had planned to take out the cans when I got it, but I think I'll wait till Wells gets home. Shit!

How long I have waited for thee...

Wed, 25 Feb 2004 00:43:28 GMT

Six Feet Under, Season 2, releases on DVD June 8th.

It is about time! They left us hanging for too long!

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 19:34:51 GMT

Last night, I swear there was a murderer outside the bedroom window. I kept hearing scraping and pounding noises. And I saw a shadow of movement. I wanted Wells to get up and check out the scene, but he insisted I come with him, because he didn't want to get murdered by himself. I feel dumb today, realizing how irrational my fear was. I have been watching too many scary movies. It was probably just the little stray cat 'limpy' that likes to hang out on the deck and the cars.

I am excited to go to Vegas this week-end to experience all the glitz and kitsch. I have been learning the basic strategy of black jack, so I can win big! If any body has any Vegas tips - bring them on!

Rained out again.

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 19:33:42 GMT

I guess planning for a day of skiing in the pacific northwest is futile?

Everybody is doing the ATKINS

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 01:01:53 GMT

I very much enjoy my afternoon coffee breaks with auditorium and jomarch however, I MUST STOP using that opportunity to get SWEETS!!

On Friday, I was in PCC, getting a cookie, and the cashier said, "Jeez, another one??? you are a FIEND!" I was horrified and quickly ran out of the store!

This morning I was thinking, "Jeez, these pants sure feel tight, it HAS to be that the dryer is on too high of a setting and is shrinking the hell out of my clothes." I am in denial that the metabolism I admitedly have enjoyed and taken advantage of very much until now, is starting to slow. Maybe I'll eventually have to get on that ATKINS DIET that is all the rage!!! (hehe - just kidding jetgirl23, I would never do such a thing)

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 22:15:27 GMT

We went climbing at a climbing gym in Magnolia this week end. Jeez, I'm so late at hopping on any kind of bandwagon! But it was quite fun, and I did it despite my extreme fear of heights! We plan on doing the belaying class and taking advantage of a two week membership that comes with it! I'll be he-woman after that two weeks, because, it really works your arms!

Some random good news: coffee: the new health food?. Finally, a reason not to give up my daily cup.

Some random bad news Hair dye may double risk of blood cancer!!. Well, I have been getting back to my natural color anyhow - but how do I address those gray strands in a few years time? Age gracefully??!!!
Well, I guess everything causes cancer (except coffee!) so why bother worrying?

Elaine_Dance who?

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 23:02:08 GMT

I thought I would really try to learn Spanish this time, after a couple of failed attempts from my past. My first attempt, was when I was a know it all high school student. It was barely an attempt to learn Spanish, actually. It was more of an excuse to goof off and heckle the teacher (Lois Arteada, How could I not heckle her, with her strong pro-life opinions she brought into the class room!)

The next attempt was in college, in which there was a conversation lab every other day. My understanding was that this lab was 'optional'. Optional to me meant, I could either go to Spanish Lab, or sleep off my hangover from the night before. Well, it wasn't optional, and I was dropped from the class for never going...The good news is I did remember enough to get into 102 and skip 101 this time 'round.

SO, here I go again. I would really like to have some level of profenciency in this language. It will be important in the country in the future. I really hope I can speak and understand it when Wells and I go to Spain. I hope I don't get lazy, and revert to English, as all lazy Americans tend to do when traveling. The number of biligual people (mostly those who aren't native) in this country is sad compared to that of other countries.

Thu, 11 Dec 2003 23:51:33 GMT

Dear LJ,
I have abandoned you lately. Will you have me back? At least until next time you get on my nerves and I abandon you again.

Overheard

Fri, 14 Nov 2003 22:49:11 GMT

In the lunch room, a Pakistani guy was telling his lunch mate, "Yes, I just went to Texas, and THOSE PEOPLE all thought I was Mexican"

*chuckles* oh those wacky Texans.

Tue, 04 Nov 2003 00:25:54 GMT

Yuck, I must force myself to gym today. I don't love my gym, and am always making up excuses to 'skip it' but, I haven't been since last Monday.

We go to the Gold's gym 2 blocks from our house because it is too convenient/close not too. What is it about the 'Gold's' image that attracts (more so than most gyms) the super-buff, narcissistic tree-stump armed body builders that love to admire their muscles in the mirror? And what is with said tree-stump armed body builders, that makes them think that is a good look? It amuses me, and revolts me simultaneously.

But those douche-bags don't intimidate me! Oh no sir! I will head straight over to the testosterone filled free weight corner and curl those five-pound dumbells with out shame!

Kitten

Mon, 27 Oct 2003 17:48:31 GMT

It was a tense and anxious week-end, with the kitten not crapping on the carpet once, but twice. And lets just say it wasn't 'solid' and easy to clean up. And Wells had a gag reflex if he got any where near it. I really started to worry that she wouldn't understand the litter box - and it wouldn't work out, which would make me sad, because she is the sweetest thing ever. I was happy this morning to lots of poop in the litter box. Don't know if it was hers or Kramer's. Weird that such a gross thing would make me happy.
I have a medley of 'Ball with Tail' songs forever on an ongoing loop in my head.

Stains

Tue, 14 Oct 2003 17:41:43 GMT

So, my sexy new laptop inspired me to decorate my office (well, by decorate, I mean paint the walls blue and put up curtains) but it looks so much better! One unfortunate incident happened though; apparently, I ignorantly left a cup of paint on the desk, and I left the windows open for the fumes to escape. A giant gust of wind must have knocked the cup over onto the hardwoods! I didn't notice until the next day. It was far too late to do anything about it. I cleaned up as much as I could, but there is still a big oily stain, leaving the floors unsalvageable. I was enraged, PISSED; that is until Wells came in the room and said "Wow, that stain looks like a COCK" I lost it. I started laughing hysterically. I have a giant penis shaped stain on my office floor. Nice.

New Toy!

Thu, 09 Oct 2003 18:43:20 GMT

Who'd a thunk a simple UPS delivery can brighten someone's day so much? I am now a proud owner of a new cute/sexy little 12" power book. Oh yeah. I'm like a kid on Christmas morning.

So long and good riddance you antiquated slow-ass iMac OS9 running piece of garbage!

Yak Pak random shoe deal

Fri, 19 Sep 2003 18:54:33 GMT

I'm bringing back the high top (in red)

From my 'random shoe' order.

Hungry for seafood.

Fri, 19 Sep 2003 18:18:24 GMT

Hey keph,

How about that seared tuna??

Sincerely,
elaine_dance

Not that funny

Thu, 18 Sep 2003 20:37:45 GMT

It is funny when you are having an Instant Message conversation with somebody, you can tell their amusement level by their 'heh's 'ha's, 'haha's and 'hahahahahaha's

'heh' says, "I know what you said, YOU thought was funny, and I am acknowledging that, but didn't think it was at all funny myself" in other words, "shut the hell up, you're not funny"

'ha' says, "I realize you thought what you said was funny, and I could see where someone somewhere might also find that mildly amusing"

'haha' says, "ok, what you said was sort of funny"

'hahahahahaha' says, "I am rolling on the floor laughing, you funny bastard"

I prefer getting 'hahahahahahaha's from my IM recipients, but more often than not, I get 'heh's.